The pretense of floating through and through has its own fun. How easy it is to deceive yourself into believing and then floating, whirlpool after whirlpool - floating - believing in "its ok", " it could be worse", "it hasn't drowned you yet"
The terrible numbness that follows has its own blithering pleasure, while you're still floating - without a life boat - why need one?
The water - tears of joy and pain - one dip in all the self pity and you feel the tremendous urge to not raise the head upwards, keep sinking downwards, wallowing in the laziness it brings along with it.
Theres fun in it, all the struggles we call struggles, all the joy we call joy and all that fills this immense, silent and stony self - the experience of dragging yourself to experience this experience - is fun.
Then there's floating, we are all floating.
one day. We'll walk.
The terrible numbness that follows has its own blithering pleasure, while you're still floating - without a life boat - why need one?
The water - tears of joy and pain - one dip in all the self pity and you feel the tremendous urge to not raise the head upwards, keep sinking downwards, wallowing in the laziness it brings along with it.
Theres fun in it, all the struggles we call struggles, all the joy we call joy and all that fills this immense, silent and stony self - the experience of dragging yourself to experience this experience - is fun.
Then there's floating, we are all floating.
one day. We'll walk.
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