Undiminished and Trembling

Undiminished..

Is it same as not diminished.. I wouldn't know.. My callousness..has grown exponentially the past few months.. Not caring ..has made me unpredictable..My boss says.. He doesn't want me to be this easy.. This casual.. He doesn't like such people, who can work..

It seems all this while I have a death wish.a desire to finish. A wish to end the world,..the way I see it, if I die my world does too.. And to glorify it I say end of world..

That's one side of the scales, the other is this maddening intense and soul crushing desire to live .. There isnt a fragrance I have missed..

Do you know the second before the flower fragrance hits..is the second of unlove.. The moment of not knowing..it's the second before jumping of that rock into the seas or below the mountains... or the second before my bone dry mind is flooded with your thots..

Coz everytime you live you die..

The unknown is powerful..knowing weakens you. And I still take d plunge.. Plunging to my thousands deaths with it..

So i am as alive as I'm dead..and that's y sometimes I turnoff.. I am a stone and sometimes I m the peacock who wants to mate in the middle of a stormy night..

After all this..there's you..

There's so much of you..and there`s a little of me..trembling.

Hdk